#XD30 -4- Because I Can

He slid off of her slick body and rolled onto his back. Staring at the ceiling, he released a dissatisfied sigh. Sleeping with her didn't make him feel the same way sleeping with Camilla did. The sex was good, but there was no emotion involved, ever. They had sex, he and Camilla made love, there was a difference, for him.

The sound of a lighter clicking forced Jacob to turn in the direction of the beautiful woman laying beside him. She was smoking, a nasty habit that he detested. However, because it wasn't something he had to deal with very often, Jacob accepted it.

"Why do you have sex with me J?" A puff of smoke accompanied every word she spoke.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

She placed her cigarette in the ash tray next to the bed. Rolling over on her side, with her head propped up on her hand, she stared into Jacob's angry face. "You don't love me, and I don't believe you even enjoy what we do in this bed. So, why do you continue to call me?"

Finally, Jacob turned his head slightly, and with cold eyes he said, "because, I can."

She watched as he stood up from the bed, not caring about his state of undress, and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. She smiled, and dimples identical to Camilla's pinched her cheeks. How, she wondered, would her sister feel when she found out that the sister she never knew she had was sleeping with the love of her life?

Where Do I Fit In?

"Alana, you don't have a family." My brother said this to me the other day. Apparently, he and one of my cousins don't believe I invest enough time in the family so they've kicked me out. This was all very comical...until it wasn't. I've never fit into my family. I am so very different from both sides of my family. They're loud, I'm quiet, they argue, I'd rather speak my peace and then walk away, they avoid certain issues, I deal with things head on, forget the consequences. I've always felt like an outsider, but I've been ok with that, because as Bernie Mac use to say, I walk alone . I've always been my own person, and I've always done my own thing, I've never need validation from anyone. When I was younger, my parents use to take me home (to Illinois) all the time. The visits eventually became less frequent, and as I got older, I started to feel less connected to my family. I'd look at everybody and feel li...

Letting Go: It's Beyond Your Control Girl

The last few weeks have been rough. There have been so many ups and downs that I didn't know whether I was coming or going. For every right, there were six wrongs. Of course I smiled through it, because that is what I do. This is normal, because we all go through stuff, right? Right! But for some reason the bad news just wouldn't let up, I was being hit from all directions and I didn't know what to do but to surrender. I've never been a quitter, I've always chosen to fight through whatever was going on with me and so far, I have always come out on top. One of my downfalls has also been never asking for help, I'd rather suffer, and struggle so that when things finally turn around I can say that I did it, by myself, as I always do. Talking about my problems with others only happens after the problems are solved. This time however, I decided to take a different route, I asked for help, but help never came. Still wondering why I don't ask for help? Normally I w...

#XD30 -3- If You Were Mine

"Cammy, baby, I think we've got it." Zaire looked at Camilla through the glass that separated them. They'd been working on her new album for weeks, and things were finally starting to take shape. Zaire continued to stare at Camilla, she was looking down and humming the song they'd just finished. He had been in love with Camilla since the day Jacob introduced them. Zaire was an award winning writer/producer, but he was also Jacob's little brother, and he was the only man Jacob felt comfortable enough to leave Camilla alone with. If he knew about Zaire's feelings for Camilla, he'd surely flip out. It was no secret that his brother hit Camilla. Everyone knew it. The brothers had almost come to blows once before when Zaire decided to confront Jacob. He wasn't the type of person to get into other people's business, but this was Camilla, the woman he had fallen in love with. Pressing a button, Zaire spoke to Camille, "come out and listen to the...

Alana Stoner

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