Skip to main content

#XD30 -1- Casualty Count


Camilla sat in front of the mirror pinning her curls to one side of her head. She had a performance tonight, she would be singing in front of one of the biggest crowds she'd ever seen, let alone performed for. Camilla's dreams of becoming the next Billie Holiday seemed to be coming true. Record labels from all around were calling, and she was quick to pick up the phone.

Humming, Camilla expertly applied her makeup, making sure to cover the black eye she was sporting. Jacob had apologized this morning. He'd said it was a mistake, a mistake that he had made on several other occasions. It was her little secret, she suffered alone.

Jacob was the only person who believed in her, he'd told her that she was going to be a star and that he was going to make it happen for her, and he had. Camilla owed her life to Jacob, and she sometimes wondered if that would be the price that she paid when her life was over.

A lot of things set Jacob off, but her singing always seemed to calm him down. He'd strike her and then in seconds demand that she sing his favorite song while he sipped whiskey.

If my grandma could see me now, Camilla thought to herself. Ada Sinclair would be sorely disappointed in her for staying with Jacob, and she'd probably kill him. Camilla chuckled at the thought of her grandmother with her shotgun in her hand pointing it at Jacob. Her laugh was hollow, sad, and it grew louder until it turned into a sob. She was alone, her parents had run off when she was a baby, leaving her with Ada, and Ada had died four years ago, leaving Camilla with nobody but herself.

Being alone wasn't easy for her, she suspected that that was why she stayed with Jacob. Looking at herself in the mirror, Camilla leaned in and took a good look at herself,  "why else would you stay with a man who beats you almost every night?"

Sighing, Camilla dried her face and finished her makeup, and stood up. She was done feeling sorry for herself. She took five minutes out of every day to allow herself to feel. Now, she had a job to do, she was going to be a star. If she wanted to be the next Billie Holiday, she had work to do.

Popular posts from this blog

Where Do I Fit In?

"Alana, you don't have a family." My brother said this to me the other day. Apparently, he and one of my cousins don't believe I invest enough time in the family so they've kicked me out. This was all very comical...until it wasn't. I've never fit into my family. I am so very different from both sides of my family. They're loud, I'm quiet, they argue, I'd rather speak my peace and then walk away, they avoid certain issues, I deal with things head on, forget the consequences. I've always felt like an outsider, but I've been ok with that, because as Bernie Mac use to say, I walk alone . I've always been my own person, and I've always done my own thing, I've never need validation from anyone. When I was younger, my parents use to take me home (to Illinois) all the time. The visits eventually became less frequent, and as I got older, I started to feel less connected to my family. I'd look at everybody and feel li...

Letting Go: It's Beyond Your Control Girl

The last few weeks have been rough. There have been so many ups and downs that I didn't know whether I was coming or going. For every right, there were six wrongs. Of course I smiled through it, because that is what I do. This is normal, because we all go through stuff, right? Right! But for some reason the bad news just wouldn't let up, I was being hit from all directions and I didn't know what to do but to surrender.  I've never been a quitter, I've always chosen to fight through whatever was going on with me and so far, I have always come out on top. One of my downfalls has also been never asking for help, I'd rather suffer, and struggle so that when things finally turn around I can say that I did it, by myself, as I always do. Talking about my problems with others only happens after the problems are solved. This time however, I decided to take a different route, I asked for help, but help never came. Still wondering why I don't ask for help? Normally I w...

#XD30 -3- If You Were Mine

"Cammy, baby, I think we've got it." Zaire looked at Camilla through the glass that separated them. They'd been working on her new album for weeks, and things were finally starting to take shape. Zaire continued to stare at Camilla, she was looking down and humming the song they'd just finished. He had been in love with Camilla since the day Jacob introduced them. Zaire was an award winning writer/producer, but he was also Jacob's little brother, and he was the only man Jacob felt comfortable enough to leave Camilla alone with. If he knew about Zaire's feelings for Camilla, he'd surely flip out. It was no secret that his brother hit Camilla. Everyone knew it. The brothers had almost come to blows once before when Zaire decided to confront Jacob. He wasn't the type of person to get into other people's business, but this was Camilla, the woman he had fallen in love with.  Pressing a button, Zaire spoke to Camille, "come out and listen to the...