Last month I was talking to my mother, and the conversation left me with numerous questions. However, one stuck out more than others. If someone you know, and consider a friend is dating someone, and you find out, or see that they are cheating, do you tell your friend or just let it go, and hope that they find out on their own?
My mom shocked me when she revealed that no, she wouldn't tell me. She said she wouldn't want to hurt me. I had to let her know that I would be more hurt if she kept it from me. I then said, "so if my husband were cheating, you would just let him do it?" Her response was, "well no, not your husband. But if it were your boyfriend I wouldn't tell you." What's the difference?! I went on to tell her that I'd HAVE to know, because I wouldn't be willing to stay in a relationship with a cheater. Her simple response was, "ok, now that you've told me want to know, I'll tell you if this ever happens."
Why should I have to tell you to tell me?
To tell or not to tell is very tricky, I know. By telling your friend, you risk losing their friendship. But if you stay quiet, and they find out that you knew from the beginning, you may still lose your friend. Is the truth worth your friendship? And if the answer is no, is withholding the truth worth having to sit around and wait for the other shoe to drop?
The longer you hold onto a secret, the worse it will hurt when the truth is revealed. If I know for sure it's going on and you haven't expressed to me that you'd rather not know, I'm telling you, and I'm telling quick. I don't like deception and I will never be a part of it.