Dating...Who Has The Time?

Alana, you have to make time to date!

This was said to me a couple of nights ago at dinner. My friends seem to think that I don't make time for dating, I call bullshit. How am I supposed to make time when there is no time left?

Let me explain something to you. I work an hour away from home, I usually have to be at work by 1:30pm and I don't get off until 9:30pm. This might not seem so bad to others, but for me, it's torture. My schedule:

11am: Wake up

11:30am: Write

12:00pm: Get dressed

12:30pm: Head to work

1:20pm: Pull into parking structure

1:30pm: Clock in

*an hour lunch in somewhere in here*

9:30pm (sometimes 9:45pm lock up the store)

10:25pm: Arrive home

I do this five, sometimes six times a week. My mornings are nonexistent, and my nights, well, I try to use those for writing. Although, I usually end up falling asleep on top of my computer or papers. And on my day(s) off, I don't even want people talking to me. Twitter, is just about the only time I have any type of communication with humans, I also send the occasional text. So making time to date...no. And lets not forget, I'm a college student, so when I start a new semester, fuck everything. This is my life, and right now, I'm ok with it.

However, my friends are not. One of them even tried to talk me into doing online dating, she should know better. I'm not brave enough to go that far. Another problem (besides time) that I have is, I don't always want people (boyfriends included) in my personal space. At this very moment, if I dated, it would have to be a long distance relationship. I'd rather take time off to visit someone than have them be in the same city or state as me. This is the twenty six year old me, things might change later down the road, I'm pretty sure they will. But right now, I'm that girl that answers the question, why are you single, with because I want to be. And it's the truth.

I love love, and I've been there a time or two. So, I'm not sitting around grumbling fuck love. I just don't plan on making love a priority right now.

Oh, did I mention that I hate the "getting to know you" part of dating? Forever alone.

Where Do I Fit In?

"Alana, you don't have a family." My brother said this to me the other day. Apparently, he and one of my cousins don't believe I invest enough time in the family so they've kicked me out. This was all very comical...until it wasn't. I've never fit into my family. I am so very different from both sides of my family. They're loud, I'm quiet, they argue, I'd rather speak my peace and then walk away, they avoid certain issues, I deal with things head on, forget the consequences. I've always felt like an outsider, but I've been ok with that, because as Bernie Mac use to say, I walk alone . I've always been my own person, and I've always done my own thing, I've never need validation from anyone. When I was younger, my parents use to take me home (to Illinois) all the time. The visits eventually became less frequent, and as I got older, I started to feel less connected to my family. I'd look at everybody and feel li...

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#XD30 -3- If You Were Mine

"Cammy, baby, I think we've got it." Zaire looked at Camilla through the glass that separated them. They'd been working on her new album for weeks, and things were finally starting to take shape. Zaire continued to stare at Camilla, she was looking down and humming the song they'd just finished. He had been in love with Camilla since the day Jacob introduced them. Zaire was an award winning writer/producer, but he was also Jacob's little brother, and he was the only man Jacob felt comfortable enough to leave Camilla alone with. If he knew about Zaire's feelings for Camilla, he'd surely flip out. It was no secret that his brother hit Camilla. Everyone knew it. The brothers had almost come to blows once before when Zaire decided to confront Jacob. He wasn't the type of person to get into other people's business, but this was Camilla, the woman he had fallen in love with. Pressing a button, Zaire spoke to Camille, "come out and listen to the...

Alana Stoner

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