No Babies On Board!

My niece is turning nine this week, and it's causing my mother to lose her mind.

Alana, have a baby. I can't get a grandchild from anyone else, you're the last one left.

So now I'm her last hope! I mean, I get it, she's having a hard time letting go and allowing the babies, who aren't babies anymore, to grow up and move on. But I don't want kids, and even if I did, I wouldn't want them now. I'm twenty six years old, still trying to live. I can't do the things that I've put in my vision book with a baby on my hip. I didn't even put a baby in that book.

My first reaction was to panic. I mean, I thank God every year that I see another birthday and I am without child. All I've ever asked for in life is to have healthy edges, (cc:Naomi Campbell) not have a kid in my twenties, and to see the world before I settle down. Whatever that means. That's all I asked for. So why is my mother trying to ruin my plans? Why doesn't she want me to have nice things?

I told her that I would probably end up having a kid once I'd settled in New York. She then told me that if I did that, I would have to send MY BABY to her every summer. Listen. LISTEN! She wants joint custody of a child that isn't hers, or mine for that matter, since I haven't even had said kid.

*sigh*

My mom is really going to have to get over this baby thing. I wonder if I get her one of those babies for grieving mothers, maybe she'll leave me alone. Maybe?

Rambles and Reason: Am I a Writer?

My life is changing, and I don't know how to talk about it without becoming a blubbering mess. Everything and everyone around me is changing, and although it's all good, I don't know how to accept it. I don't know how to take it all in, but I know I have to. I also don't know how to tell the stories surrounding me without being an over sharer. That may sound weird since I share so much on this blog, but I do keep some things to myself. I've always wanted this space to be honest and authentic, it's never been about page views for me because my goal is not to be a blogger. I'm a writer, I tell stories, that's what I do, it's what I love. Recently, I went on an interview. The company is so different, and the job is slightly different from what I do now. Some aspects of the job are the same as what I am currently doing, but all I've ever wanted was to separate myself from the current company I work for. I've wanted to do something different ...

When Are You Going To Write A Book?

I am uncomfortable talking about my writing with friends and family. I'm not sure why that is, but what I do know is, when anyone who knows me asks me about my writing, I cringe before I open my mouth to answer. Over the past few years I've worked towards my degree in psychology. It wasn't until last semester while sitting in my psych class that I realized this (as much as I loved it) wasn't going to work for me. I was sitting in class, only half ass listening to the lecture from my professor, outlining what I figured would most likely be the first novel I would finish and submit for publishing. And sadly, it had nothing to do with psychology. For years, I'd heard that I was a good writer, some people even used the word amazing. I however, didn't want to be a writer. I didn't want to have people read my words, but I was always writing them. The problem was also that I didn't believe the people that were telling me this. I figured, they loved me, so of...

Letting Go: It's Beyond Your Control Girl

The last few weeks have been rough. There have been so many ups and downs that I didn't know whether I was coming or going. For every right, there were six wrongs. Of course I smiled through it, because that is what I do. This is normal, because we all go through stuff, right? Right! But for some reason the bad news just wouldn't let up, I was being hit from all directions and I didn't know what to do but to surrender. I've never been a quitter, I've always chosen to fight through whatever was going on with me and so far, I have always come out on top. One of my downfalls has also been never asking for help, I'd rather suffer, and struggle so that when things finally turn around I can say that I did it, by myself, as I always do. Talking about my problems with others only happens after the problems are solved. This time however, I decided to take a different route, I asked for help, but help never came. Still wondering why I don't ask for help? Normally I w...

Alana Stoner

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