Dating...Who Has The Time?

Alana, you have to make time to date!

This was said to me a couple of nights ago at dinner. My friends seem to think that I don't make time for dating, I call bullshit. How am I supposed to make time when there is no time left?

Let me explain something to you. I work an hour away from home, I usually have to be at work by 1:30pm and I don't get off until 9:30pm. This might not seem so bad to others, but for me, it's torture. My schedule:

11am: Wake up

11:30am: Write

12:00pm: Get dressed

12:30pm: Head to work

1:20pm: Pull into parking structure

1:30pm: Clock in

*an hour lunch in somewhere in here*

9:30pm (sometimes 9:45pm lock up the store)

10:25pm: Arrive home

I do this five, sometimes six times a week. My mornings are nonexistent, and my nights, well, I try to use those for writing. Although, I usually end up falling asleep on top of my computer or papers. And on my day(s) off, I don't even want people talking to me. Twitter, is just about the only time I have any type of communication with humans, I also send the occasional text. So making time to date...no. And lets not forget, I'm a college student, so when I start a new semester, fuck everything. This is my life, and right now, I'm ok with it.

However, my friends are not. One of them even tried to talk me into doing online dating, she should know better. I'm not brave enough to go that far. Another problem (besides time) that I have is, I don't always want people (boyfriends included) in my personal space. At this very moment, if I dated, it would have to be a long distance relationship. I'd rather take time off to visit someone than have them be in the same city or state as me. This is the twenty six year old me, things might change later down the road, I'm pretty sure they will. But right now, I'm that girl that answers the question, why are you single, with because I want to be. And it's the truth.

I love love, and I've been there a time or two. So, I'm not sitting around grumbling fuck love. I just don't plan on making love a priority right now.

Oh, did I mention that I hate the "getting to know you" part of dating? Forever alone.

Rambles and Reason: Am I a Writer?

My life is changing, and I don't know how to talk about it without becoming a blubbering mess. Everything and everyone around me is changing, and although it's all good, I don't know how to accept it. I don't know how to take it all in, but I know I have to. I also don't know how to tell the stories surrounding me without being an over sharer. That may sound weird since I share so much on this blog, but I do keep some things to myself. I've always wanted this space to be honest and authentic, it's never been about page views for me because my goal is not to be a blogger. I'm a writer, I tell stories, that's what I do, it's what I love. Recently, I went on an interview. The company is so different, and the job is slightly different from what I do now. Some aspects of the job are the same as what I am currently doing, but all I've ever wanted was to separate myself from the current company I work for. I've wanted to do something different ...

When Are You Going To Write A Book?

I am uncomfortable talking about my writing with friends and family. I'm not sure why that is, but what I do know is, when anyone who knows me asks me about my writing, I cringe before I open my mouth to answer. Over the past few years I've worked towards my degree in psychology. It wasn't until last semester while sitting in my psych class that I realized this (as much as I loved it) wasn't going to work for me. I was sitting in class, only half ass listening to the lecture from my professor, outlining what I figured would most likely be the first novel I would finish and submit for publishing. And sadly, it had nothing to do with psychology. For years, I'd heard that I was a good writer, some people even used the word amazing. I however, didn't want to be a writer. I didn't want to have people read my words, but I was always writing them. The problem was also that I didn't believe the people that were telling me this. I figured, they loved me, so of...

Letting Go: It's Beyond Your Control Girl

The last few weeks have been rough. There have been so many ups and downs that I didn't know whether I was coming or going. For every right, there were six wrongs. Of course I smiled through it, because that is what I do. This is normal, because we all go through stuff, right? Right! But for some reason the bad news just wouldn't let up, I was being hit from all directions and I didn't know what to do but to surrender. I've never been a quitter, I've always chosen to fight through whatever was going on with me and so far, I have always come out on top. One of my downfalls has also been never asking for help, I'd rather suffer, and struggle so that when things finally turn around I can say that I did it, by myself, as I always do. Talking about my problems with others only happens after the problems are solved. This time however, I decided to take a different route, I asked for help, but help never came. Still wondering why I don't ask for help? Normally I w...

Alana Stoner

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